Disclaimer: I have read through the Bible, and I have many thoughts on the whole compilation, the individual books, theology, blah blah blah - however, this has nothing to do with any of that. This is more of a “if I knew NOTHING about any of this, and I read the first sentence of each book, how hooked would I be to keep reading?” kind of thing. If I didn’t already have some background with this, what would my questions be, what would I be excited to find? So here goes:
Genesis 1:1
The Beginning
“1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth”
100% yes - who wouldn’t want to know where/how/when it all began? Life is weird. If there’s any possible way of determining an origin point to all of this weirdness, I am totally on board. I enjoy knowing things from the absolute bottom, baseline, first detail to have ever happened, while also keeping the big picture in mind. Actually, I like to know the big picture first and let the details follow, supporting the big idea. So if the big idea is that I am a human and I am existing, I definitely want to explore a possible origin point of said existence. Also, who or what is “God”?
Exodus 1:1
The Israelites Oppressed
“1 These are the names of the sons of Israel who went to Egypt with Jacob, each with his family:”
Ok, I’m definitely curious. At this point, I feel like we got to Egypt pretty quickly - Genesis must have covered a lot of ground. Why only “sons” mentioned here, and male pronouns? And why are these people being oppressed, and by who/whom? Being an old book, the mention of “Egypt” within the first sentence of this book conjures up images of The Emperor’s New Groove for some reason - I don’t exactly know the setting of that movie, but that’s just where my mind goes. “Yzma, put your hands in the air!!!” If the name of the first book is “Genesis”, making me think of the beginning of a story, it’s interesting that “Exodus” is next - like “okay we started this thing, or God started this thing, now let’s get the heck out of here!” I got a hat at Burlington Coat Factory for like $8 once, and it said “mass exodus” on it, so this definitely reminds me of that hat. It was a good hat but I washed it in the washer one too many times. Also, we have an actual person’s name here with “Jacob”, plus multiple other “sons”, I wonder how many people there are in this book. Like, a lot of characters to keep track of?
Leviticus 1:1
The Burnt Offering
“1 The Lord called to Moses and spoke to him from the tent of meeting. He said,”
I have to know what “The Lord” said to Moses. Also “The Burnt Offering” sounds like the most metal of metal bands, or maybe an album by Slayer or Napalm Death or something. Maybe a more black metal band or grindcore. Also they are camping, so I’m thinking this is still pretty old old as far as technological improvements. But having a tent specifically for meetings does make me think that these people are pretty evolved, plus they would have had language and, more specifically, written language to jot all of this down. Or was it retconned? Living in the age of stories like Harry Potter and Marvel makes me wonder when all of this was written - could it have been changed at all, like how comic books and movies are made to work together in harmony after they have already been established.
Numbers 1:1
The Census
“1 The Lord spoke to Moses in the tent of meeting in the Desert of Sinai on the first day of the second month of the second year after the Israelites came out of Egypt. He said:”
This tent of meeting seems to be a popular place. At least for Moses. Also, second mention of Moses so far, seems to be a popular character. I will say I’m not a huge fan of desert settings or censuses, but counting is important for civilization to continue. I guess if there was an Exodus earlier and the Israelites are now in their second year “out of Egypt”, maybe that’s a good thing? Could be a bad thing? Again, the desert does not sound appealing to me. I’d be interested to see what the Lord is saying to Moses at this point, although people who say that God speaks to them in some audible voice do seem a bit crazy, from what I’ve seen on television. How long before the Bible mentions television? Anyway, tents in the desert? No thank you. Also, a title of “Numbers” and “Census” as the first chapter heading - I’d give this one a 6/10 to start.
Deuteronomy 1:1
The Command to Leave Horeb
1 These are the words Moses spoke to all Israel in the wilderness east of the Jordan—that is, in the Arabah—opposite Suph, between Paran and Tophel, Laban, Hazeroth and Dizahab.
This is the most unfamiliar words I’ve ever seen in a single sentence - do people read this without like, an extra dictionary, or is there a glossary of terms in the back? I read the Lord of the Rings as well as The Silmarillion, and during the latter I definitely found myself flipping back and forth pretty frequently. That seems like it would come in handy here - also Moses is speaking to ALL of Israel now? If this is way in the past, I wonder how they achieved that. Some makeshift megaphone, maybe they used the lay of the land to get a good echo going to the people in the back. Also I have no idea how many people there are in “all of Israel”, but I have a feeling it’s a lot. Did they have to pass information along like the old whisper-in-the-next-person’s-ear game “telephone”? Seems like the flow of information would have been tricky, but maybe I’m reading into that too much.
Joshua 1:1
Joshua Installed as Leader
1 After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ aide:
Oh shoot. Our guy Moses, our main man, is gonezo? Then this guy Joshua, born to a nun (which seems questionable), who used to be an aide to our dude Moses, is hearing from the Lord. Does the Lord swing by in-person, or is it all in Joshua’s head? I guess this makes me think more of people saying that they hear from the Lord, and that has always been a curious thing to me - is it “audible”? It wouldn’t upset me if it is, but it simply doesn’t happen that way for me. It seems that who- or whatever created all of this craziness plants road signs or shapes in the clouds or something like that. But I really don’t know. Maybe Joshua knows.
Judges 1:1
Israel Fights the Remaining Canaanites
1 After the death of Joshua, the Israelites asked the Lord, “Who of us is to go up first to fight against the Canaanites?”
Man people start dying QUICK at this point! I wonder what “judges” means - people judging each other? That never seems to go well. God judging people? That seems to be how people view God. Maybe this sheds some light on what “judgement” actually means, or maybe it’s something completely different.
Well, I’m going to turn this into a podcast now. Or maybe this week. I go through some high highs and low lows, and I never know what a week is actually going to look like. I just know that we all want to love and be loved. Maybe I’ll dig back in to these books and report back on what they are supposed to “mean”.